Dating With Purpose - Our Story

When David & I were dating we talked about writing a book called "Dating with Purpose" to encourage people that waiting for God's best in their life is truly the best thing! Many times I've thought of writing a sequel called "Married with Passion" to encourage newlyweds that being married is full of love, fun and adventure! And knowing you've married the right person is the best thing ever! Maybe one day we'll write a book, but until then...

This is just a short memoir of our story - the start of A Lifetime filled with Adventure & Love.

It all started in January 2007. We met on a ski trip, our friend Andy introduced us. I thought David was cute, we saw each other on the slopes and in the lodge a few times, but we didn't really talk much that day. A few months later David came to a youth outing at the park. Shortly after that, he became a leader at Incline, our youth group. He played the drums for our youth band and connected well with the teenage guys, he was a great example to them.

One night the first week in June, I realized I was beginning to like David, as more than a friend. I prayed and asked God to show me David's heart, I wanted to see him for who he really was. As God began to show me who David is, a deep love for him was slowly growing in my heart. I asked the Lord what I should do about these feelings, He told me to be David's friend and let Him work out the details. At times that wasn't easy but I knew it was best for both of us.

On the first day of summer 2007 a group of us went for a hike then to Starbucks. David and I ended up hanging out and talking that night. Without realizing it, David encouraged me to dream big and follow God's call on my life. Shortly after the hike, we exchanged email addresses. Over the summer David continued to encourage me and ask me questions that made me think about things. He was a blessing to me in many ways and I treasured our friendship.

The end of July our friends Kevin & Chrissy set us up on a double date. It was a little awkward but we survived the evening. The very next day David sent me an email, saying he didn't want to lead me on and that he didn't see our relationship going in "that" direction, BUT he wanted to still be friends and email and hang out. I was glad David was being honest with me and let me know how he felt about our friendship. The fact that he still wanted to spend time together told me he valued me as a friend; that meant a lot to me!

In August, I went to visit my brother at his ranch. I told him a little about my friendship with David. Ted encouraged me to be patient. The whole time I was at the ranch I was missing David, which was kinda strange because I had never missed him before. Later, I found out that same week David was praying about his future, and the Lord was speaking to him about me!

Then came September… 

On the 10th, there was a hike at Barr Trail. We took a few pictures and started rock scrambling, somehow David and I got separated from the group. We had a great time talking and hiking through the woods. Suddenly David started to jump around; he had walked into a nest of bees. David got stung like 30 times. I got stung once. We survived and eventually found our way back to the group. After, everyone came over to my apartment for apple pie and ice cream.

While at the Mill (a 20's something group at New Life Church) one Friday night in the middle of September the Lord showed me some things from my past that I needed to let go of. I didn't even realize those things were still there. As the Lord ministered healing to me, I felt so free! I knew by letting go of the past I was moving into my future. It was wonderful! 

That same night David saw my roommate Michelle and asked where I was. She mentioned it to me after the meeting. I looked around for David but couldn't find him, so I ended up calling him. He was having some friends over for dinner and a movie on Saturday and wanted to know if I could come. I had to work late but really wanted to go, David said they'd wait for me. David seemed friendlier toward me; he even paid for my dinner. Even though I had to work the next day, it was after midnight when I left, we had a great time! 

On Monday, Michelle and I went to the library to check our emails. I had three from David! The one that caught my attention was titled "Tammy, would you let me lead you on?" As I read David's email, I started to cry and laugh at the same time, I was so excited!!! What I had been praying for was happening!!!   


Dear Tammy, 

I hope you're having a wonderful day, and I hope you got enough sleep on Saturday night to get you through the day at work. Thanks for coming over I had a really good time, and I hope you did too.

The purpose of this email is too let you know how I feel about you. The subject I wrote of "Would You Let Me Lead You On" is my way of saying, I like you, I like you a lot, and I would really like to get to know you better. It's also my way of saying, "I would like to make a commitment to you", you could think of that as me saying, I would like to date you. I don't really like to use the term dating, because about 5 years ago I made a commitment to myself that I would not date ever again (and I have held fast to my commitment), because I saw that it could only bring trouble. I see that sometimes when people are dating, there are obligations that are put on the couple that I don't think should necessarily be there. Anyways my point for saying all that is this, I want a healthy God driven relationship, built on friendship, established on trust. I want to get to know you, like two really good friends hanging out. This is not some fleeting thought I am typing out right now, I would not be telling you this unless I had really thought and prayed about it. I am telling you all this because you need to know what my intentions are, and where I see this relationship going. I think I have done a pretty good job of laying my heart on the table here. But now I need to know how you feel about me, feel free to be completely honest with me I will not get mad, and you will not hurt my feelings, I promise. I hope this email doesn't scare you, because that is not the intention of it, it is to let you know how I feel and to be honest with you. Honesty is always the best policy. 

So anyways, let me know how you feel, take your time responding back, there is no rush.

                                                                    I hope you have a great day, Sincerely,
                                                                                                 David   


I was quite surprised! I asked Michelle to read the email because I thought I was dreaming! When I got home I called David, I couldn't tell him how I felt until I saw him face to face. We agreed to meet at Memorial Park. We spent the next 6 hours talking and walking around the pond. 

On September 17, 2007 David and I made the decision to date with purpose. By dating with purpose, we knew our relationship was headed toward marriage and we were able to build a solid foundation for our future. This was one of the best decisions I've ever made! David is an awesome man of God! He's everything I've prayed for and more! The more I get to know David the more I love him. I knew this was the man God had for me, because I didn't have any questions or doubts about our relationship. God's faithfulness toward us is amazing.

Another thing we decided was that our fist kiss would be on our wedding day. That may seem extreme and unreasonable to some people but, we felt this was right for us. Sometimes it wasn't easy, but I'm so glad we made that commitment to each other!

My family came to visit shortly after David and I started dating. One evening, after dinner, we went to the Siamese Twins rock formation in Garden of the God's. Dad asked us about our relationship. We shared our story, thoughts and feelings with my family. Dad and Mom shared their love story with us. Then they prayed over us and gave us their blessing on our relationship.  On our way back to the car David reached out and took my hand in his. It was a special time!

In the short time we had been dating David and I had become best friends. I could tell him anything and he never looked down on me or judged me in anyway. He always encouraged me and made me feel very loved, without saying the words. 

On October 28th, we were hanging out at David's house, when David said, Tammy I Love You. That sent tingles all the way to my toes! I responded with I Love You too! It was so nice to be able to tell him how I really felt about him. There were many times I wanted to say those words, but I knew I needed to wait for him to lead in that area of our relationship.  

David’s parents came to visit over Christmas.  I enjoyed spending time with David's Dad & Mom; they are wonderful and welcomed me into their family with open arms!

On December 31st, 2007 David took me to Denver, CO to watch the fireworks and ring in the New Year, (secretly I was hoping David would ask me to marry him on New Year's Eve). He was kinda quiet on the way there. We walked around 16th Street Mall, ate dinner, watched the first fireworks show at 9pm and nearly froze at the park. It was getting closer to midnight, so we headed back to the truck to warm up and find a closer parking spot. I had a gift for David and was going to wait 'til midnight to give it to him but, it was so cold out and we had time so I gave it to him early. He seemed to like the Chinese prosperity symbol - I felt like this was going to be a prosperous year for us in many ways. 

David said he had something for me too… as he pulled a little box out of his pocket, I realized he was going to propose! Just before midnight David asked me to marry him! And I said YES!!! I was so excited and happy. I cried and laughed! David held me close. It was the best New Year's Eve ever! 

We called my family, they were happy for us but they knew because David had already asked Dad if he could marry me. 

All the way home we talked about us, our wedding and our future. At the rest area, we listened to Steven Curtis Chapman's song "I Will Be Here". I made a commitment to David that night and told him I will always be here for him, encouraging him, believing in him and loving him, no matter what, always by his side.

The next 6 months was a whirlwind of activity, planning our wedding and getting things in order. We had a lot of fun in the midst of it all, we went skiing, hung out at Ted's ranch, went on a trip to Arizona where David grew up, went hiking and grew in our relationship.

This is just the beginning of the adventures and love God has planned for us! It's an exciting time! The Lord has done great things for us!  We are glad!  Psalm 126:3


To see a photo album of our story click here: 

http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=0AYtWjZm0bOWbio

11 comments:

  1. Wow! What a great love story between you, David and the Lord. I am glad you are able to share it because it is very encouraging. There is a blessing when you allow the Lord to lead you in life, marriage and family. You are living in the blessing! Janel Inman

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  2. Janel, I'm glad our story was encouraging to you, feel free to share it with others. Living in the blessing is such a wonderful thing!

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  3. Such an inspiring love story. i experirience something similar to this but it ended yesterday when i asked him of his intentions about me. His reply was let remain friends. After two years of friendship i do not think am prepared to wait for him any longer. Am now moving on amd waiting on the lord to lead to someone else.

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    1. Dear Anonymous, sometimes waiting can be difficult but God' has good plans for you and He wants you to experience His very best, He loves you so much! Praying for you and believing that God will bring your heart's desires to pass, quickly! -Tammy

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  4. This is so inspiring and sweet. Thank you for sharing this, Tammy! :)

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  5. I lived this! So nice :) I almost cried :)

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  6. The foundation of happiness. This Gods way and the only way. This really blesses me.

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  7. Am expriencing same situatiion now..
    now in a long distance but our friendship is growing more close, ...... pray for me Tammy

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  8. That is AWSOME. Waiting on God to bless me that way.

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  9. Wow. God be praised. This is sooooo inspiring and it convinces us the more that indeed when we wait upon God, he will give us the good desires of our hearts. I personally pray sincerely that God will continue to bless and keep you both in your union as one. Truly a blessing.
    I am currently 22 years old and it is my desire to get married. The young man whom i really love, i had expressed my feelings to him because honestly, there was a point in time when i felt really overwhelmed by the emotions so i couldn't hide it any longer. He has expressed similar emotions as well but has noted that we should wait. I'm in college right now, and have 2 years remaining. He says we should wait. I really do love Him but at the same time, I do not want to get too attached because I am not clear on whether or not this is God's will.

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    1. Dear Anon,
      Preparation time, is never wasted time. Waiting may seem difficult or like it's going to take forever, but God has a plan and it will all work out . Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4.

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